The past year was not a very good one for blogging. And 2012 isn't looking too good for it either. As I've mentioned before I struggle with blogging because in order to be a REALLY good blogger one needs to reveal and share a LOT of private information, write about a specific topic that they are really invested in and care about (e.g., cooking, crafts, travel, etc.), and commit to writing on a very regular basis.
Now that I'm married and want to respect Mark's desire for more privacy, I don't write as often. I also don't have a true passion that I want to write about: cooking (I love but don't need to write about it all the time plus I don't take photos of my cooking), crafting (I couldn't tell you how to make a crafty item to begin with LOL), travel (I love to but I don't do it as often to write about it or make it interesting). So, that leaves us here. Today. I haven't been writing much lately. I don't share much personally. That doesn't make for an exciting blog. It's true. I know it.
I could write about what I would change in my marriage and reveal private and personal details that really shouldn't be shared publicly. I will tell you though that I would get rid of cable TV. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love it because during down time while working at home, I can catch up on the bad reality TV that I indulge in occasionally. I hate it when Mark comes home from work and winds down by watching sports highlights. I'd rather have him focus on me the minute he gets home but I'm OK with him watching a few minutes of TV and then focusing on me a little later. I didn't have cable TV until Mark and I moved in together and I think I had a better quality of life without it. I spent more time reading, doing other activities and catching up with friends on the phone. Reality is that we won't be getting rid of cable so I need to get creative in getting us to turn off the TV.
I could write about how I'm feeling lonely in a new city and the ways in which I'm trying to meet new people and connect with others. But that's boring. I did sign up for a children's book illustration class. It starts in February and I can't wait. I know that signing up for a class doesn't guarantee that I'll make new friends but it might! One can hope.
I could write about how much I love Winston but struggle with him every day and I've been talking to Mark about finding him a new home. I cry about it every day lately it seems. I hope that it is a phase that I'm going through but there are some valid concerns that I have with keeping him. He is very demanding and while I knew it would be as the primary caregiver of him and as an independent person I'm now tied to the house because of him and I'm feeling depressed about it. He also nips a lot and is underfoot almost all the time. I've tripped over him a number of times and when he gets nippy I have a hard time dealing with him when I'm home with him by myself. If we decide to find him a new home, I don't want to be judged because I already have tremendous guilt just because I've been thinking about it. I love this puppy and I'm so glad he is in our lives but there are so many concerns that I have about keeping him. Please don't judge, I'm already crying over this daily.
I could write about considering another change in my career. I've been an independent consultant for the last two years but living in a new city is lonely and I miss the collegial atmosphere of an office. So, I've been thinking about possibly going back to work in an office. I also continue to focus on growing my independent consulting work and current clients so the possibilities remain wide open. But who wants to hear about work?! Not me!
I could write about gossip or do giveaways but I don't want people to read my blog just because I'm up on the latest celebrity divorce, marriage or baby. I also don't want people to come to my blog because I'm giving away something cool.
So, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and not feel bad about it. My reader numbers were at an all time high earlier in the year but have dropped off substantially and I'm OK with it. I don't write for others. I write for myself. In 2012, I might write a lot or I might not update for a long time. I won't apologize for either and I won't beat myself up either.
I do know that 2012 is going to be a big year and I can't wait for the year to reveal itself. My little brother and his wife are having a baby girl in early February (if she's on time). My cousin got engaged over the holidays. Mark and I are house hunting. My parents are in Thailand and doing good to help the world.
Whether or not you continue to read my blog, I thank you for your past support and wish you good health and happiness in 2012!
xo,
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